Despair of Broken Heart

Shattered crystal glass
Memories the shards deadliest of blades
Crimson liquid wasting into earth
Light turning to shadows

Tears of pain staining my face
Death's freeze consuming
Laying in wait trying to hold on
Threads of hope shredding away to despair

"Careful not to cut your finger on the shard of a Broken Heart," they say...
As if it were like picking a wild red rose
Similarities being that both die
Ha! Only one bleeds and feels pain....

Life slowly draining from the soul within
Cries of pain into darkness
Nothing but silence for an answer
Letting go night gives way as dawn breaks

(Original Poem by Me)

*sigh*

You know my mother keeps telling that things will get easier...talking about my broken heart and shit...but somehow i dont see how it was been nearly a week and i still cant seem to get over this i dont think it ever took me this long before on my other ex or any of my crush... i never shed so many tears or been so damn depressed and the crazy thing is i have no fucking clue what to do about it...i keep wanting to tell jon how much i miss him but i got a feeling that it aint a smart idea...im trying my best to let him be so he can think without my interuptions....i completely alienated myself from the other guy too...so at the current moment i am completely and utterly alone and its making life way more tough to get thru....like i have nothing to be look afoward to on my weekends anymore just spending time by myself in the basement and dark....i really wonder (not to sound selfish) if jon knows how badly i miss him and love him...i wonder if i have even crossed his mind...i know i cant seem to get him off my mind....been taking sleeping pills just knock me out at night...last night i didnt take any though took me nearly 2 hours or more before my mind wore its self out and passed out...not the most restful sleep either....now i come to my second weekend alone this time sunday would mark our 4 month....*sigh*....i really dont know what to do...well guess thats enough my fuckin ramblings just had to vent....

Just When I thought I had no more tears to cry

Yes! I Screwed Up This Week! Now if only someone could put me outta my misery....Broke up with my the one guy i truly because my emotions got confused when another guy kissed me...so i thought i was doing the right thing....only managed to hurt both myself and jon...and now i just wanna die...i already managed to break my own heart...not to mention that i should go to hell for hurting jon whose only crime was loving me... id do anything to have him back too.....i never loved anyone like i love him and yet i managed to screw it up all cuz of another guy....i am so stupid....i wish i could just erase the past week like it never happened...then i'd still be with jon....now i have to wait for him decided if i am worth giving a second chance...i suck at being patient...lol...i cant even get a good night sleep....and just when you think i cant cry anymore i can .... i hate crying too but this time its worth the tears.....