*sigh*

You know my mother keeps telling that things will get easier...talking about my broken heart and shit...but somehow i dont see how it was been nearly a week and i still cant seem to get over this i dont think it ever took me this long before on my other ex or any of my crush... i never shed so many tears or been so damn depressed and the crazy thing is i have no fucking clue what to do about it...i keep wanting to tell jon how much i miss him but i got a feeling that it aint a smart idea...im trying my best to let him be so he can think without my interuptions....i completely alienated myself from the other guy too...so at the current moment i am completely and utterly alone and its making life way more tough to get thru....like i have nothing to be look afoward to on my weekends anymore just spending time by myself in the basement and dark....i really wonder (not to sound selfish) if jon knows how badly i miss him and love him...i wonder if i have even crossed his mind...i know i cant seem to get him off my mind....been taking sleeping pills just knock me out at night...last night i didnt take any though took me nearly 2 hours or more before my mind wore its self out and passed out...not the most restful sleep either....now i come to my second weekend alone this time sunday would mark our 4 month....*sigh*....i really dont know what to do...well guess thats enough my fuckin ramblings just had to vent....