Monday, January 19, 2009

Dilema

Okay, so I got a dilema....
So apparently my new years resolution will be harder to keep than i thought originally. See the reason for the resolution is because this past year i went thru a bit of heart ache thanks to two jackasses...and so now i am kinda nervous about the thought of even getting close to being in a relationship. Friendships just seem so much safer for the moment...then again living life on the safe side is never any fun afterall i do enjoy living on the edge of life...and life is all about taking chances one way or another right? But the other thing is that at the current moment i dont find it apporpriate to get involved in a relationship because i fear that they would just be a rebound and i would be interested in them for the wrong reason....i guess another reason i am having an issue with this is because before when i lived here i people my age always found ways to pick on me and put me down and laugh at me. All i remember from liking guys back in florida is being rejected and laughed at...so to come up here and to think that thus far i know of four guys that have liked me even if two are jackasses...still this is all a very foreign concept to me and i cant figure out what guys see here that guys did not see in florida...? Its so confusing! I really dont know what to think...or whether or not what i've been feeling is actually pure and genuine...the last thing i wanna do is use someone and hurt them.
Thats for the most part my dilema....the question is what am/should i do? Guess i will figure it out eventually.Write more later.
Goodnight
-Angel-

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